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All the news that's not fit for print -- or for that matter, the airwaves -- is reported on the "Onion News Network," an offshoot of the news satire organization The Onion. The network claims to have more "attack satellites" than its competition, and "no other channel has more secret surveillance cameras in homes, businesses and high-level government offices." Its flagship parody show is "FactZone with Brooke Alvarez," which includes a media monitor segment that features Alvarez (as played by Suzanne Sena) pointing out the "gross negligence" of other news organizations.

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